Wysm's Journal

9:54pm: I have just arrived home from my first day on the set of Mulligans. I am very tired, although not as bad as I could be considering I woke up at 5 am. It was a strange day, when movie people say there is a lot of hurry up and wait, they really really mean it. I would have 10 minutes of busy busy stressful scene changes and then nothing for about 2 hours. I feel like I had a good start considering that I really have no idea what I am doing and have no one above me to tell me what to to. I had a few minor hang ups and the director on changed one of my costumes out of about 10. I did a lot of knitting and hand sewing today. Tomorrow I think I will prepare all of the one liner character costumes and some extras. I am going to bring my wheel on set and leave it there I will be able to get so much work done!

I don't really think this will be interesting to many people, but I am alone in the house right now and feel like i want to tell someone about my day. Gavin and Sarah are on set with me which is turning out to be very fun, although sarah is the script supervisor and so I rarely get to see her. But Gavin is running around being the nice funny guy he is and helping everyone out that he can. All in all it was a great day and I think it can only get better once I start to get the rhythm of things.

I wish I could call people up and natter away at them but I don't want to wake anyone.... sigh..

6:56pm: Hi All, Laura, John, Steven, and I are meeting at the odeon to see 28weeks later at 720 on tuesday night. Anyone and everyone who is interested is more than welcome to show up. I know it's last minute but we realised we havent talked to anyone in a very long time... damn all that work. So lets get together.

8:10am: The Sun Is Shining!
The BBQ will be great! It's a beautiful day, the wind blew away all those ugly clouds of yesterday. This last week has been pretty hectic, I worked a lot and when ever I was done I would be to exhausted to weave. It was hard enough just to get diner made before I fell asleep. The last two times I made diner though I ended up pretty tipsy before it was finished.

I like to enjoy a gin and tonic after work, while I'm preparing dinner. But, I guess I have been mixing them a little too heavily for an empty stomach. Because when I'm halfway through cooking I start to feel a buz, and by the time dinner is done I'm so drunk that I'm barely hungry at all.

Hmmm, so anyway I really hope you all come today. It's going to be fun, even if you don't eat much cause of the run, (coughcough donna).

11:04am: arwyn please dont edit this..;)
I hate when i have a day off and i spend the majority of it sleeping! I did that this morning and now i have woken up with a headache from too much bed... bleh.

anyway I know ive already posted about this, but, I'm not sure about what i should plan... should we get together here? on thursday? let me know who's interested?

we could have an easter party... or not...

9:36am: Catastropic!.. well not really...
Whew! today will be a better day I hope. Yesterday was a pretty rough day, but although so many things went wrong i was pretty much always able to laugh at them and move on to the next catastrophe. The day pretty much involved me wanting to do something but having lost half of what i needed to complete the project. I wanted to do some yoga out on the deck this morning because it was so sunny and beautiful. I couldn't find my yoga mat anywhere! I found it that evening hidden behind a curtain in the bedroom. Next I wanted to wash some wool I had just spun, and it had disappeared. i found it later on in exactly the spot i was looking, for some reason my eyes wouldn't see what was right in front of them. Then later that afternoon steve and i went for a bike ride, we where planning to ride to beaver lake and i was excited because i had finally found the right gear to ride on and was zooming along... I guess i was zooming along too well because suddenly the nozzle of the inner tube ripped itself off and with a loud whizzing sound i was suddenly dragging my ass tire. It was a long walk back. Anyway I had just bought the tube and still had the receipt so we exchanged it. I think we're going to attempt the ride again today. Hopefully the tire will be fine this time.

Work has been good, I work 9 till 530 for each shift. There are no other shifts, you either work all day or you don't work at all. I like it that way though, I hated going in for 4 or 6 hour shifts it seemed like such a waste of the rest of the day. It's hard though, people keep coming and asking where plants are and most of the time they ask the name in Latin or some other name like the type it is, and not just rhododendron or sage. We're expected to know how tall some plants grow... what will the deer eat, what wont they eat... just so many questions i simply have no idea. But I really like this, I won't be able to fall asleep on the job, it's all new to me. As long as things are new, no matter how hard they are to learn I will always enjoy it. I work tomorrow then have the weekend off. This weekend is pretty full, but i was thinking next weekend people might want to come out here for a dinner? or maybe lunch/ dinner potluck thing... people can even cook here... there is lots of space and if the weather is right we can have a picnic like thing out on the patio.... we could also do it next wed or Thursday. Sundays are kinda bad though I have tai chi with my mom from 12 to 2 but we could do it after....

anyway let me know what you think... or if your interested.... I only got to see you for a few minutes at laura's... I wish i had been able to stay longer... thats another story though.

8:14am: Oh goodness!
I am here, I have arrived at the my final destination (for the next 10 months). Saturday was a wet wet day, we moved that morning. Loaded up the truck and sped to the ferry in less than half an hour. But, seriously the rain, it felt like someone decided to empty out the nile that morning.

We arrived at elk lake and emptied everything into the garage, and from there my mom and i continued on to metchosin with the cats. Thats where i spent two days bumming around and feeling suspended. The grandparents weren't supposed to leave until Friday, but they decided to leave this morning at 5am! I am happy that they are gone, but I also feel guilty I wouldn't have minded them staying until Friday with the two of us. But, its nice to be able to settle earlier. I spent this morning organizing the studio, and i still have a lot of work to do. This move has really made me annoyed with myself and my pack rat habits, I have so much shit that i don't use but can't seem to let go of... even stupid cheap clothing. The next move will be much much more refined I can promise you that!

In other news! I got a job! It's at elk lake nursery! A five minute walk from home! And it starts at 10 dollars an hour... woo hoo! I was only getting 9.25 at the bean, and that was after 3 raises. I really can barely believe my luck, I went to apply for the job and after chatting with the manager for awhile she hired me on the spot! And she seems like a really nice lady. bah I think this is all i will write today, my brain is feeling a little addled. Please get in contact with me if you want, come visit, or i'll visit you! Email me if you need the number, and address.

10:50am: ive started a blog, if ya wanna check it out...

http://bronwynandthespider.blogspot.com/

9:34pm: I found this funny... do you?
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12:42pm: mutating into a metalgirl

Your Birthdate: October 1

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it. You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter! You are very prone to love - hate relationships. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

Ahhh! what a drama! so friday morning the power goes out, as does everyone else's in vancouver... or so i thought, I called the bean and they are open and functioning. damnit so much for a day off. I spent most of the night listening to glass being shattered and the sidings being pulled off buildings in our nieghbourhood. And the night befor this was our staff party where i drank a bit too much and had to open the coffee shop the next morning. So needless to say i havnt had much sleep after these two tumultous(sp?) nights. I head off to work and have to cross to busy intersections without any traffic lights and the cars a completly ignoring me... i see a break and run.. screaming cause i can hear horns being blared and cars coming way to close to me for comfort! but i clear this one only a little bit shaken. the next one im not so lucky.... i make it almost to the corner and some lady comes roaring around the corner and side swipes me... im leaping into the air when i see her and her passanger door bumps my hip and pushes me stumbling onto the sidewalk. I am totally fine just a bit of a sore hip, but im standing on the corner crying and shaking cause i came so close... and the driver of course doesnt even stop not even slowing down. in fact im pretty sure she sped up.

anyway i finally get to work and im pretty shaken and tired. but its busy so i try my hardest to grin and bear it. ive been working for about an hour not even, when i reach up to put a new filter into the coffee brewer not realising its already been started and is full of hot steaming water and coffee grinds. before i can realise this though its already in my hand and the hand is covered in said hot grinds... for some reason i dont let go and push it back in place i pull it all the way out and run to the sink with it and dump it in there.. then collapse to the floor. my hand has melted skin hanging off it and coffee grinds imbedded in the open fresh skin. Lael i think picks me up and rushes me to the sink to pour cold water over it. anyway delaine drives me to the hospital and my god i was making a scene... because honestly ive never been in that much pain... and its pain you cant get away from... even ice wasnt helping. the doctor has to pick all the coffee grinds out of me before he can treat it... and they dont give me anything for the pain, they wanted to know where the 3rd degree burns are and where its just 2nd degree and the only way they can tell this is by knowing what i can feel and what i cant. so anyway after me screaming and kicking they finally give me some morphine... but not enough because what they dont know is i used to spend days on morphine when i was in the hospital with my colitis so i have built up a nice little tolerance for the stuff.... so they give me anouther dose and send me home! then i slept like the dead for the rest of the day pretty much.

I was also feeling pretty worried about my parents cause the island got slammed or so it seemed from the news. And i havnt heard from them, and well i dont usually go a whole day without hearing from my mom. that evening i get so desperate i 411 thier neighbour and ask him. He tells me that a tree fell on the back of the house, the bathroom is demolished and the two back bedrooms have some minor damage as well. everyone is safe though, they had all moved into the additoin (my parents room) because its the only area not touching alot of trees. they have gone out for dinner when charles (neighbour) tells me this so when they get home they finally call from his house cause their phone isnt working.

I wonder what kind of christmas this will be, i don't even know if we will be able to live in our home. the contractor is coming today so we'll know soon i guess.

I have the rest of the month off though! but i cant do a damn thing cause my right hand is useless.. its been pretty hard to type this. I'm going to come home sooner though, maybe, wednesday? which is pretty nice, im really looking forward to being back on the island despite not having a home. I was just beginning to work on christmas gifts though for everyone, and now i dont know what im going to give people... i dont really have money to spend... what should i do? can we get together? I'd really like to see people...

the t3'S are starting to kick in and my left hand is starting to ache so lets say good bye... hope you found this entertaining i cant believe it all happened in one day.
Love yas

8:02pm: Hello all, I am posting again. Whoda thunk it! anyway, still dont feel like i have much interesting to say. I should stay on the positive side though. Steven says that all i ever post about is bitching, and everyone is going to think im miserable. I'm not just over worked. I just finished my last of six 8 hour shifts in a row... man i can't believe i made it. And suprisingly im not totally exhausted, I have two days off now then its back to anouther six days... blehk.

I love that you all responded, I really didnt expect any response from such a rant. I am coming home on the 23rd of december and ill be in town until the 26th... then we're going to the cabin for a few days. I hope we can continue our tradition sukhpal... Arwyn, I would love to see you, I have monday off although im going shopping with a friend at metrotown (you can come too, if you would like to shop?)... we made a play date a whole month ago and ive been saving my tips since then (im excited) sunday i work till 5 i believe... and my mom is arriving that day she will have the couch, although your welcome to the floor if you want... i have a yoga mat... Will you be here on tuesday? because i will be off on tuesday as well. Sukhpal are you coming too? anyway i think thats all i will say for today... maybe more tomorow.

7:03pm: here sukhpal is my entry (rant, ramble)
I dont think I should be writing, this, my first entry in months. A) because I am just tuckered out from work and will be rambling. B) its almost time for the menses to begin and so my body is on a rollercoaster of emotions.

I want so desperatly to move into a bigger apartment. I have wanted this for almost a whole year now, the apartment doesn't even have to be so big, just closer to work. I am so tired of commuting on the bus everyday. I work in a coffee shop where I deal with some wonderful nice customers and even more evil hating customers, then i get on a bus and travel for an hour at least crammed up against really smelly people ( really! smelly!). I arrive home where most nights I have to start worrying about whats for dinner, even though im so hungry im getting all spinny. Sometimes I'm lucky and dinner is made and that is wonderful. I am picky about dinner as with most other things I eat, so it has to be prepared well and warm, and filling.

I would like this new apartment to be sunny, and feel more open not narrow hallways with furniture and crap to bump into and fall over when ever i move. I try to keep things tidy but there just isn't enough space to even put things away into. And i would love a kitchen that isnt the size of a hallway. Idealy it would be a two bedroom so we could have a room for the computer and the loom. I hate having the computer under the bed. I also dislike loft beds, as romantic and practical as they seem they are definatly not!

(I know these problems are common place. and i'm being selfish for feeling upset, but, i can't always be happy and easy going about everything.) I mostly feel like i am being taken forgranted, I love to give and make people happy, and expect that in return but what do i do when i dont feel it back? really? how should i react... most times i dont and i hold things inside. then i get sick.

this makes me feel better.

I have been working on my weaving and spinning alot, but it always seems like i havnt got enough stock or variety for my displays. I wish so much someone would walk along and say oh! you should be in a store, here this is how you set it up and walk me through everything. I'm to damn scared of failing to do it alone. I need to have good credit and take out loans and know how to manage money, these things i have never been able to wrap my head around.

I'm sure much of this entry will be of no interest to anyone but myself. But, it's to make myself feel better and get stuff of my chest. I never go out, unless its with steven, and i never talk to friends. I havn't even wished people proper birthday greetings. I always think oh ill call them. but, i call and their never home. i never leave messages either which is bad. I miss having things be easy like they where in highschool. Now I just feel guilty because i feel bad for not communicating. couldnt we just erase all my mistakes and start over. could i still be loved?

11:28am: hey, i want to write more, but dont have time. I'm leaving for vic today, Ill be sailing with my dad untill thurs afternoon, Are people free on friday? we could all get together for something!... or something. I'll be in touch when im home!

Hope you guys wanna see me as much as i wanna see you.

10:54pm: Re: No me importa nada
I grabbed one of stevens work books. the computer area is his work space... not expecting much.

"Understanding women can be tricky, so we wrote for the W Network, The essential Dictionary for understanding women's english. It has over 800 definitions from a female perspective to help make sense of any woman in a situation.
Definitions include:
-nothing (ne-thing) something. Especially when spoken in response to whats wrong?
-queer (kwir) a guy you can take shopping.
-safe sex (saf-seks) sleeping with someone your certian you'll call the next day.

Applied Arts, canada's visual comminications magazine.

I wasnt planning on including the title of the book, but even when i do it still doesnt hold much context.
That was fun, sort of like a fluxus (thing)


Here's one from one of my favorite books ( a fluxus):

go outside of you.
look at yourself walking down the street.
make yourself tumble on a stone and fall.
watch it.
watch other people looking.
observe how carefully you fall.
how long it takes and in what rhythm you fall.
observe as seeing slow motion.

I'm back, and happy to be home. Love you all and I am looking forward to coming back to vic so much.

6:34pm: happy birthday Lindsey and happy halloween everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi lindsey and happy birthday, I hope it is rearry wonderful! i have a gift for you made by my own two hands.... dundun dun... so now i just need to get off my ass and send it. i will... be patient... maybe ill mail it to the vancouver international airport and it will meet you there.

So steve and i rescued two suits out of the garbage last year and this year we cut them up and sewed them together to be four face... we're going to his friends party from school, I hope this goes well. They are all theater and art students so im feeling rather nervous about the costume.

hmmm school has been wonderfully stressful! I would usually have spent all day there on thursdays... we learned how to make nylon the other day... i felt like such a chemist! We also learned the molecular make up of alot of colours. Who knew that the molecular makeup of natural and synthetic indigo is exactly the same! although the due give slightly different hues of blue... ahh the wonders of precision dyeing.

12:44pm: today someone is dragging a rake threw my belly, and my head is heavier than 10 bricks.... waa pms

9:52am: steven and i just bought a loft bed from ikea! we put it together and slept on it last night. I enjoyed it, but steve got closterfobia(sp?) he had to spend the night on the floor. We are going to shorten the legs because its a bit to close to the ceiling for comfort. It was very hard to put together because we dont have a power drill, we ended up stripping alot of screws.

8:46am: It's been so long since I have updated that the update page has changed! Well its not that suprising, just a bit sad. I figured with Donna, Leanna, and Sukhpal gone someone should fill in the gaps, give our journals a little bit of variation. And i have about 30 min before i have to leave for work and im not in the mood to weave. Hmm right now im working in a Coffee shop/ breakfast place. I hated it within the first week of working there, Im just so tired of working the same shit minimum wage jobs. And this one aint anything special. I got a job at a costume shop doing alterations and helping customers which will be a great job. if i ever get to start! They had to move a week after I was hired and val (the owner) doesnt want to train at the same time. I am also waiting to hear about a job at a textile gallery in west van, This job would be amazing if i got it. They dont know if their getting funding yet though... i really hope they do and if they do they hire me! Ok so enough about work, I got an 8 harness floor loom! which i love and if i could i would sit at it and weave forever and ever. 8 harness means i can do upwards from a million patterns! no joke... its technically more advanced than i am which is why im warping it up as a 6 harness right now. Im weaving a broken twill, with a linen warp and my handspun alpaca... i need to get some more spinning done, stevens mom is going to take back her wheel for two weeks... i should spin some wool for ruth, she drove my loom home for me, so i owe her big time! alright this entery is probably not that interesting, but its my journal.

7:53am: Should I still be here?
I seem to have extradited (is that the right word?) myself from the group. Due to extreme measures of miscommunication, on both sides, I have been turned into a liar and lonely hostess. I don't ever talk to anyone anymore, but because of this whole rift i feel uncomfortable contacting anyone. will they want to talk to me... this may seem very petty but its been troubling me so im going to get it off my chest. i also am still insulted that no one even called to let me know they weren't coming to visit. I did set aside time for them, and i worked damn hard to get most of my homework out of the way before they arrived. ok so im angry! and sure i probably shouldnt be... i should probably sit aside and let i roll of my back like everything else... but it seems to have gotten stuck on its way down. your friendships are a big part of me and i am sorry if you think i have been taking them forgranted.

9:24am: hello all, i just had an idea, if anyone is free thursday night... would they like to come over to my house for dinner and hanging out... we could watch a movie... and go for a walk in the woods... and over the fields... to the ocean... i'd just like to see you all cause im there for such a short time.. just an idea.... my parents already said it was ok...

8:34am: the journal is useful but makes things seem so forced, i dont always write for me i write for the readers. this is foolish i know few people read it, and if they do its not important to them what i am doing. i mean its so minuscule who would be interested in it. my day to day meanderings? im barely interested. anyway, what do i have to do today? Well i suppose the most important order of business would be going to get a new bank card. Steven and I went grocery shopping yesterday and i discovered in the lineup that i didnt have my debit card so he had to pay for the whole thing! i felt terrible, 130 dollars later, and we still have groceries to get... we always do this eat everything in the house untill there literally is nothing left and we have to buy everything not just the stuff we plan on cooking for the week but also all the basics, its very frustrating... hopefully things will balance out better once we get into some sort of rhythm. we still havnt gotten that yet... almost but not quite. sooo yeah ive got to get a bank card, and i still have to buy a ball for the bowl, but i found my shaping objects, these great wooden alphabet blocks they will felt perfectly, i think, and actually now that i think about it they would look better strung up than sitting in a bowl.... i just need to get the words together now... shouldnt be that hard... hmm i think also that i need to do the felting project before i go out... but i also need to get fabric and some more grocerys... theres just never enough time in the day.... i also keep getting distracted by my weaving im in a really good spot right now... right at the major curve that will pull the peice together. i was going to go to the school today but i think ill just stay later on wednesday, which means i dont have to get fabric today i can get it tomorow on my way home from the doctors office. yes that works out well... ok so todo list:
get bank card
felt blocks
finish weaving
oh! get a library card and do some research
then last but not least grocery shopping.

psst! leanna your right craft is becoming more sought after, this is being noticed more and more as we progress more towards technology... there is still alot overcome in terms of the barrier between the two worlds... but i think there are enough people out there who feel it is important for art and craft to become one, that we will make it so in time.:)

8:42am: todo list for sunday november 6th
I want to listen to cbc at 911 and glue pattern blocks... then work on weaving while listening to vynl cafe at 1230... then me and steve will go grocery shopping and i will get a ball for the brain casing... get home and make cinnimon buns or something good to take in lunches for the week... then i will felt the ball or balls? what if i made a series of balls or shapes that fit inside of one anouther... they could have writting on them or something to unifie them all... words that have been running through my head while i think about my future in this world... art, craft, boundries, divisions, dialoge, open, differences, art vs craft, dedication, focus, choose, folk art, human touch, sensibility.... so many more words it is impossible for these to end if they where to end then i would be dead.. but to grasp a flow or understanding of them... control the use of them... why is text so important to me, i cant use it as well as i can use my fingers... but i want to include it... it weasles its way into my ideas constantly if i plan it or not.... transendence...why was art originally placed above craft... what makes people beleive that it needs to transend? craft is more humanistic? it comes from people, not just one person... why is craft not on a pedistal.... why are they viewed seperatly... i have so many questions in this regard i dont know where to start asking them... i am not an artist in the eye of a gallery i am a craftsperson... i can not put my work in a gallery because it does not have the "lasting" qualities... this makes me angry i should not have this restriction...

12:26am: Sauce!
hey this is a quick note to mention the gathering at sauce on sunday. Sauce is located at Yates and Warf, (we think). I would love to see everyone who reads this message in attendance. This means you, don't you think i cant see you from my cat powered submarine! We are planning to meet at 8 pm in front of the eatons centre. The front is the side with the buses on it, in case you havnt lived here long enough. It should be a jolly time! Filled with varying kinds of excremental sauces!

-tehehe

6:52am: Im a comin!
I don't have the drive for Art History this morning, no note taking for me thank you very much. No I'll go I'm just going to try and get away with using my mp3 player and recording the teacher instead of writing. which probably isnt a good idea, because im worried when i take it home and its out of context with all the slides and classroom environment I wont be able to make sense of it all. Anyway the reason I am posting this morning is because I want to organize a gathering in Victoria for sunday night. I'll be in town saterday afternoon untill, tuesday afternoon. And I would love to see you guys, Sukhpal was telling me about a restaraunt at the end of Yates where it meets store st, called sauce. It sounds nice, sorta fancy, but also cool. If anyone else has any ideas for restraunts please let me know... i dont really care where we go, as long as i can eat good food, so no burger joints, and something new because well you live in victoria...Hmmm oh yeah and i would like to go shopping sunday, or monday or both! if anyone has free time and would like to hang out then let me know! OK so respond to this... otherwise i will be sad... i mean it.

6:29am: Hmmm, ok change of plans sorrry guys. Although no one responded (cept laura... i know who really loves me now!) I wont be able to come home this weekend. I was planing to come home on sunday and stay till tuesday night. But, after going to school on yesterday i realized what a huge amount of catching up i have to do. And one of the girls generously offered her monday afternoon to help me get it all done. So im staying because this is more important.

Im glad to say class went well yesterday, i stayed for the whole thing and wasnt even tired. Just a bit hungry, but this is a good sign. Today I have Art history, which actually i should be getting ready for right now because i have to leave earlier...

6:29am: I need a new screen picture.... that one up there is so old. I think its very cool, but I want a change. Today I'm going back to school! Yeah! Im excited, although a bit nervous. Its only for a partial day just to get my homework and stuff, but I'm going to see the other students and they'll all be questioning. I'm sure it won't be that bad. I hope. Then tomorow is my first full day of school. I have art history, so i think there is a smaller chance of me getting sick if I just have to sit there for four hours.

I am also coming home on sunday, I will be there untill tuesday evening probably. I would really like to see you people, anyone who would like to see me. I havn't decided on what time I'll come on sunday, so let me know when you are free and if you want to see me... I have sunday and monday to visit! so lets get together!

We are finally down to only two cats. Hogarth, steven's kitten and my wonderful pussy, Mona. Hogarth very obviously misses his siblings although he is such a slow kitten he usually just watched them play. But before the last one left he was getting much more active. It will be really interesting to see how he grows up. We also believe he isnt going to grow, he is half the size of the other kittens. He always was smaller but he would grow with the kittens, untill a few weeks ago when they got their biggest growth spurt and are now half the size of mona almost, he is still the tiny kitten. still small enough to hold in your palms! Its weird.

I am also handing in my first weaving project today, or at least I will try to. I dont like it, it looks very crafty. Mostly because I made it over the course of one day when I have had almost a month to work on it. I hope she approves of it somewhat. The idea is good, but it could definatly use more fine tuning. Its based on my favorite myth, the skeleton woman. I dont know what brings me back to this one everytime I think of a myth. I love it though, and have already done a major project on it. Maybe its some sort of omen, I should redo this theme untill I am satisfied that it does the story justice. Because at the moment i am still unhappy with it. hmmm thats actually a really good idea.